New moms are suffering in silence. Here’s why the first 12 weeks after birth are the hardest – and how to survive

New research reveals the fourth trimester is the most unrecognised yet most difficult phase of the pregnancy journey, according to UK women. With many new mums feeling unsupported and unprepared, we’re shining a light on what many women experience during the first 12 weeks after birth, before sharing some words of wisdom and self-care tips from the experts

Words: Lily Smith | Photography: Shutterstock

Having a baby is one of the most exciting times of a woman’s life, yet new research from the women’s nutritional health experts at Wild Nutrition has found that nearly half of women feel totally unprepared and unsupported in the first three months – often dubbed the fourth trimester – after giving birth.

The research also revealed that more than a third of women found the fourth trimester to be the most difficult stage of their pregnancy, with one-in-20 women admitting they had never even heard of the fourth trimester before, confirming it as a hugely unrecognised stage of pregnancy.

However, with Google searches relating to the fourth trimester skyrocketing by 160 per cent over the past year, it’s clear more and more women are searching for information on what to expect during this brand-new stage of life. Despite actively searching for answers, research also shows that more than half of women agree there isn’t enough information or support out there for mums-to-be, leaving many new mums unprepared for the physical and emotional challenges the fourth trimester can bring.

Under pressure

The research also pinpoints that this crucial stage, during the first 12 weeks after birth, is the key time when women feel under pressure to get back to normal, despite having just gone through a monumentally life-changing experience.

At a time when hormone levels are fluctuating, the fourth trimester is both a physical and emotional period of change when a woman needs support as she adapts to the changes of being a new mum. However, a large proportion of new mums reported feeling like they didn’t have enough emotional support in the first weeks after giving birth. Many women also reported holding themselves to unrealistic expectations about being a mum and frequently feeling overwhelmed – both in mind and body. In fact, the women involved in the study reported regularly experiencing more than 30 different mental and physical symptoms, with exhaustion, sore breasts and increased feelings of anxiety and depression being among the most common.

‘From reviewing the research and listening to the experiences of women, it’s clear that the fourth trimester is not supported and understood in a way that honours the importance of this time,’ comments Henrietta Norton, author, nutritional therapist, mum-of-three and founder of Wild Nutrition (wildnutriton.com). ‘This is a period of new motherhood where women need physical and emotional care as well as nourishment.’

Eight ways to look after you

Navigate life with your new bundle of joy, while also looking after your own wellbeing, with these tips from nutritional therapist Sasha Parkin (wildnutrition.com) and author Danielle Facey, a.k.a. The Breastfeeding Mentor (thebreastfeedingmentor.com).

1. Help your gut flourish

If you have had medication during birth or lacked diversity in your diet whilst pregnant, your gut-friendly bugs may have taken a hit. Add probiotic foods such as sauerkraut, kefir and miso (a cup with warm water works well) to help repopulate your microbiome, or include a probiotic with lactobacillus strains (if breastfeeding, these will also help populate your baby’s growing gut flora, too).

2. Have snacks at hand

When you are sitting down to hold or feed your baby, it can be the perfect opportunity to nourish yourself, too. Try snacking on bananas, protein bars, nut butter and trail mix (nuts, seeds and dried fruit).

3. Prioritise iron rich foods

Birth can cause blood loss, and it’s important to replenish those stores for energy, repair and immune health. Try nettle tea, green leafy vegetables, oats, pulses, spinach, organic red meat and lentils (and always pair plant iron with vitamin C-rich foods to aid absorption).

4. Top up your omega 3

During the third trimester, and if you are breastfeeding your baby, your omega-3 stores can become depleted. Optimal levels are important for brain health, including memory and concentration. Top up your levels with rich food sources, such as sardines, mackerel, anchovies, salmon, herring and trout, or try a supplement.

5. Relieve and prevent constipation

This is a common occurrence post birth, which can be further disrupted due to reduced sleep, medication and a fear of pain. It is important to keep well hydrated and include fibre-rich foods to get back into a regular routine. Try incorporating fruits, vegetables and soaked seeds into your diet to help bulk and soften the stool, making it more comfortable to pass.

6. Stay hydrated

This tip is not only about maintaining your milk supply if you choose to breastfeed – it’s also about protecting your physical and mental wellness. Drink to your thirst each day, to help facilitate the transportation of nutrients to every inch of your body, while also helping you to heal and thrive as you nurture your baby.

7. Eat protein first

Breastfeeding burns 25 per cent of the energy that your body uses each day, which explains why you may be so hungry all of the time if you’re breastfeeding! Prevent spikes in your blood-sugar levels by including protein at every meal and eating it first. This will help you feel more energised throughout the day.

8. Connect with others

We were never meant to mother in isolation. Guard yourself against loneliness in the fourth trimester by reaching out to other new parents in-person and online. Voice notes are a wonderful way to connect on days when getting to your local playgroup with your colicky baby feels impossible.

Words of wisdom

It’s often said that it takes a village to raise a baby. So, the experts at Wild Nutrition asked more than 1,000 seasoned mums to share their best piece of advice for new mothers. Here are the most popular nuggets of wisdom to keep in mind…

1. Don’t compare yourself to other new mums – you and your baby are unique.
2. Trust your gut, it’s your greatest ally when you can’t think straight from not sleeping.
3. Don’t feel that you have to say “yes” to visitors or to host them – concentrate on staying on top of your mental health, not the housework.
4. Don’t feel guilty if you need a bit of your own personal space – give the baby to your partner or family, even if it’s just so you can have a bath.
5. Don’t overstretch yourself – sometimes it’s an achievement just to get dressed and leave the house!
6. The first 12 weeks of your baby’s life will be chaotic, but you will find your own groove. Ignore pressures to have a routine too soon.
7. Cherish the very early weeks and months with your baby, as time passes so quickly.
8. Everyone seems to have different ideas about caring for your baby, so get helpful advice from those you trust but, ultimately, always come back to your own instincts.
9. You’ll be surprised at how little sleep you can survive on, and always nap when your baby sleeps, if you can.
10. Expect to have a baby bump post birth and your stomach to feel wobblier. This is totally normal.

Find out more about navigating the first 12 weeks after birth with Wild Nutrition’s fourth trimester guide. Download your free copy at wildnutrition.com/pages/pregnancy-fourth-trimester-guide