Sexual desire doesn’t have an expiry date. From greater confidence and self-knowledge to treatments for vaginal dryness and changes in libido, discover why your sixties could be a fulfilling new chapter in your sex life
People often presume that once you hit 60 your sex life stops. However, it is in fact a myth that sexual desire at this age has an expiry date, with surveys constantly finding that many women in their sixties and beyond are still enjoying a fulfilled sex life. In fact, whilst it may be a decade old, the UK’s National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles found that 60 per cent of women aged 60-69 reported being sexually active. And it’s likely that figure has risen, due to various factors such as menopause is being treated more openly and women are more willing to talk about sex.
More women are embracing sex at 60
According to sex and intimacy coach Irene Fehr more women are embracing sex at 60 than ever before.
“The 60s is a powerful decade for women: the body is still strong and capable, while the mind has gained the wisdom, self-knowledge and discernment that come with experience. Together, these create a unique opportunity to experience sex with greater freedom, confidence and satisfaction,” she explained.
“Before anything else, we have to acknowledge the fact that life after menopause is in many ways a new phenomenon. Just a century ago, women’s average life expectancy was around 50 years, therefore women did not live long past the end of their reproductive years. If women lived well past menopause, they were considered “elders” and living out the last decades of their life.”
This is fortunately not the case today, with women living longer and in better health.
“As women live well into their 80s, menopause is a doorway into several more decades and a new stage of life that offers women richer and more exciting opportunities than simply preparing for death. At age 60, many women today are still active in their careers and families, experiencing more opportunities to live life to the fullest.”
Today’s older women tend to have stronger bodies
In her work, Irene Fehr sees a vast number of clients in their sixties and one of the biggest changes she has noticed is that they have much stronger and flexible bodies than perhaps women did in past generations. “They may practice yoga, exercise regularly, travel, work, and continue to feel deeply engaged with life. The body is still resilient and capable of experiencing pleasure, sensation, movement, and desire. Combined with the emotional and psychological shifts at this stage of life, this creates a powerful opportunity to experience the body – and sex – in a new way.”
And then there is the fact that older women have life experience, a strong sense of worth and are often willing to walk away from relationships where their needs are not being met.
“With that and the reduced pressures of childrearing – as well as letting up of the inner voice that judges their every move – many women find their libido shoot through the roof, leading them to take greater emotional risks in seeking pleasure that works for them than they would have permitted themselves before. You no longer have to worry about how you look or if your partner desires you – sex becomes about you and your desire. After years and decades of internal and external pressures to serve others, women find their inner permission to be selfish and to enjoy sex for themselves,” added Irene Fehr.
As someone who is aged 65, Suzanne Noble, host of Sex Advice For Seniors is an advocate for sex at every age and admits to having great sex herself “primarily because I know what I enjoy and how to communicate with a partner.
“At my age, with kids no longer at home, there’s more time to spend on sexual pleasure, with the emphasis on pleasure and not necessarily always on achieving an orgasm. Although the health issues that many women experience are real – vaginal dryness, a drop in desire for sex, solutions are available. Vaginal estrogen has been transformative in restoring the moisture to that area and removing the pain that many older women associate with penetrative sex.
Testosterone can boost libido
“Testosterone can boost a woman’s libido while giving her added benefits such as energy, focus and strength. It’s a mistake to assume that all women over 60 have great sex, but for those that want to have sex until the end of life, there’s no reason why the number of birthdays they’ve had should be a barrier to achieving that. With good communication between partners, the right pharmaceutical solutions and enthusiasm, anything is possible!”
Having just turned 60 herself, OB-GYN and menopause expert Dr. Anna Cabeca, regularly sees patients in her clinic the same age, and explains sixty can really can be a vibrant sexual chapter for women.
“Many women at 60 feel more sexually liberated because the pressures of fertility, contraception, young children, and often the performance anxiety of earlier decades are behind them. There is freedom in knowing your body, speaking your needs, and prioritizing pleasure without apology. I’ve had patients tell me their sixties are when they finally felt like themselves again.
She adds: “The “sex at 60 revolution” is real, and it starts with refusing to accept pain, dryness, or low desire as inevitable. There are real solutions: addressing hormones, healing vaginal tissue, reducing inflammation, managing stress and cortisol, and rebuilding intimacy and oxytocin. I use my L-I-B-I-D-O framework for this: Lubrication, Intimacy, Bedroom, Internal dialogue, Diet, and Oxytocin. It covers the whole picture.”
